Feelin Down

 It's finally Friyayy (in a more melodramatic tone)

I've been so down since yesterday coz I got a call from one of the most prestigious media company in Malaysia - and I turned down to go for the interview for some reaons.

Having zero experience in the media world except as an active social media scroller - I think if a company exerts high demands on you, you should at least be prepared mentally and physically for any consequences, and you should have at least knowledge about what you want to do.

Its not that I dont have the knowledge - but its still not enough, I dont have any involvement in anything, so that kinda explains the huge void in my resume. 

When I applied, I was proud I just did something at a drop of a hat..but..it turns out I realized after a brief phone interview that I was not prepared at all to answer any of the simple questions inquired by the interviewer. So I think I should be more careful and do some research the next time it occurred again.

But I had encouragement from my hubby and colleague to just try it out - chances are I might even got the job, but since I already turned down the interview. But I promise to use my time and improve before I did something that inevitably makes me mortified later on.

I have never felt intimidated in my life until yesterday's session - and it wasnt even face to face yet!

But it was the most honest interview I had in my life - and I realized the media world is brutal but honest. They asked you, and you have to answer honestly. Because in some other jobs; not gonna life - sometimes you need to sell yourself a lil bit higher than what you are qualified. But that lie sometimes go all the way through the interview - with a confident smile on your face.

To tell you the truth, I hate to market myself. I dont have anything impressive to market myself for. I just wanna get out there and learn the basic things before I go higher up. I won a project during universirty before - a GROUP project, and my contribution is really the bare minimum. 

Also I am very inactive in school sports, never took extracurricular during universities, and rarely go to my club meetings.

And brutal honest is that I was lazy and hate socializing and that needs to change! But I realized things a little too late - I sell myself short alot and I can't even gloat about any ground-breaking contribution for 28 years I have lived. 

Have you ever felt down and you just vent it out to make yourself feel better? I dont know if I feel better, but Im glad I shared this. 

Im definitely excited for weekend though- binch watching Netflix and divulge myself on my crime novel. Hope yall gonna have a blast weekend!

XOXO